The Curse of the Crooked Glasses

I was thrown into stardom at a young age. My first role, the result of flagrant typecasting, was that of the “little old woman” in the riveting first grade production of “The Gingerbread Man”.

The Better to See You With

Sure, I was the only girl in class with glasses, but being deemed “an old woman” at 6 seemed harsh. 

Is it just me, or are those glasses crooked?

In September, I had my high school reunion.  I went to the glasses place to make sure the glasses were properly adjusted for the big event. I could not stress the importance of this fact enough.  

This is how the conversation went:

ME: “My glasses seem off, can you fix them?”

OPTICIAN: “They seem fine to me, you need a new hobby.”

ME: “My reunion is today, I would like them to look perfect for the event.”

OPTICIAN: “Your face is a bit off.” 

ME: “Huh?”

OPTICIAN: “Your right ear is higher than the left one.”  She placed them under the heating device and the glasses made cracking noises and then she returned them to me. 

They were incredibly uncomfortable and rocked on the counter when I put them there.  They gave new definition to “off”.  But she insisted that they were fine. 

Needless to say, my pictures from the reunion were awesome, I felt like I looked great!  

I showed them to another optical engineer a couple of days ago and she just shook her head.  She said, “Wow, these pictures are great and you look amazing;  too bad that your glasses are crooked.”

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Posted on November 13, 2011, in Rant, Rave and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. LOL ! Charming post !

    Cheers from California.

  2. In 4th grade I was chosen to be the elephant in a play. It was just luck of the draw, but I also happened to be a fat 4th grader. The kids laughed and my mom had them change me to a tiger. I feel your pain.

  3. You were ravishing. Glasses and all

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