Canned Salmon Fallout

Last week, something that seemed so funny and innocuous turned into utter chaos! My Facebook family turned on me. It made me wonder, is it possible that I am Larry David’s lost-long progeny, Lauren David? 

Let’s consider how this is possible:

  1. I am sarcastic
  2. I am extremely misunderstood. Cannot stress this point enough.
  3. People typically run in fear when they see me.
  4. Sometimes, I really don’t understand why people are so “put off” by something that I don’t think is a big deal.
  5. I understand his point of view more than I don’t.
  6. I wear corrective lenses, perhaps that is why I “see” where he is coming from.
  7. My mom says that I am my “father’s daughter” frequently. Usually when I have done something Larry-David-like.
  8. My name is Lauren, so I could have very well been named after him until  I looked at him crossly so he gave me up.
  9. I like to write; he’s been known to write a thing or two.

Just  the same, I don’t consider myself to be a bad person. Nor do I think he is. I think his character on”Curb Your Enthusiasm” is hysterical. He allows us to be ourselves and not feel bad.  

Last week, apparently, my Facebook family informed me that “Lauren David” showed up.  I went to a local store and an older lady asked me where the canned salmon was.  I didn’t really have time to process her question, other than to think, “I don’t know, I don’t work here.”  

According to the people with whom I shared the amusing?  tale , I played this totally wrong.  I should have a) flagged down an employee to direct her to the coveted canned salmon, b) stopped and found the canned salmon myself 0r, c) NOT wear that blue shirt  or d) offered not only to find the canned salmon but to locate everything else that she was getting that day, “just because”.  

My Facebook family clearly thought I was a monster. Someone who would slam doors on old ladies or take the last can of coveted canned salmon – if I had actually known where it was.

With Thanksgiving around the corner, I do understand that it is important to “give” but sometimes you just want to buy what you need and get out of there. I have people asking me questions all day at work and when I am not at work, it is my “me time” or “how about you answer-MY-question time”.

 Sometimes, life isn’t all about lollipops and sunshine, sometimes it’s about a canned salmon controversy.  I wonder what Larry David would have done.  What about you?


Posted on November 22, 2011, in Rant, Rave and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. I’ve chosen you for the Versatile Blogger award, which is pretty cool. Read about the details here!

  2. Sometimes helping comes naturally, and sometimes you are in a rush to get where you are going. Don’t feel bad (unless you never help) LOL

  3. I was just thinking….. maybe I’d answer ” I don’;t know, Ma’m, I’m sorry, but, would you like to try the canned meat section? ” Just the same, I know I’d say something, and I hope I’d never sound rude. Don’t fret, though, your response wasn’t rude , at all. I have had a few people respond to me that way, and I was never offended.

    Cheers !

  4. I wouldn’t bother finding out where the salmon is kept. Sod that, it’s inefficient to have two people looking for it when only one needs it.

  5. I think watching Curb automatically makes you more Larry David. I know after I watched it that every moment of every day of my life I think what he would do in that situation. Unfortunately there is never a bathroom window for me to climb out of when I need one.

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