Customer Service Challenged Chaos!
At times, it is easy to think the world is laughing at you as various incidents that seem well-intentioned go wrong and you feel like you are in a practical joke that won’t end. It’s as if a storm cloud is following you around and raining bad mojo all over anything nice that you do!
My colleague, AIMLESS, decided to get lunch for her team a few days ago.
She wanted to get pizza because it was easy but then members of her team complained so she caved and ordered individual salads from a place near by. Sure, some people didn’t want everything on the salad, so she had to take notes and repeat the order about five times while on the phone.
The place serves three types of chicken on their salads:
- “tender chicken breast” which is code for rubber. Each time I have had it, I have taken more than a piece off after almost gagging on it.
- “chicken breast” which means diced processed chicken
- “hot grilled chicken” – this is the money shot. It tastes the best but who are we kidding, it’s probably a processed chicken breast popped in the microwave.
I hear AIMLESS talk about “hot chicken” and I knew a fight was about to happen so I zoned in so I could hear it happen.
AIMLESS: “On those 6 salads, we want hot chicken.”
CHICKEN LADY: “That will be $1.50 per salad.”
AIMLESS:: “What? All chicken has been hot at one point, what is the difference?”
CHICKEN LADY: “It takes longer to prepare, $1.50 per salad.”
AIMLESS: “Get me your manager.”
Conversation repeats but this time with the manager. Manager’s closing line: “That will be $1.50 per salad.”
AIMLESS: “That’s too bad, I was going to place a big catering order with you, but I guess you don’t care.”
She hangs up the phone and looks at her giggling neighbor, me, and expresses her displeasure. Then she offers, “Do you want one of these salads?” She adds me and my peer to the order and when she gets there, the two last-minute additions were the only ones with the hot chicken!
Livid, she tells them to make them all again. At this point, she has invested 15 minutes trying to order the salads on the phone and 30 minutes waiting for the salads to be made because they messed them all up. She takes the bags of salads and said, “How are you going to make up for this? You can start with a chocolate cake!”
The best part was when she brought the salads back, it seemed that nobody could find “their” salad. I don’t think they made a single salad right! At least, we had dessert!
As if the salad trauma wasn’t enough to endure, she decides to put that ordeal behind her and buy the office some breakfast, today. Oh boy, I can just see the COFFEE CAT BANDIT lurking in the atrium, waiting to make her entrance when nobody is looking and take some bagels, or maybe a scone. Oh, look, fresh coffee!! But, I digress.
When AIMLESS was leaving the goodie provider, an employee came running out after her, waving a receipt, as AIMLESS was going to her car. The employee said she needed to pay for an orange juice carafe. AIMLESS replied that she didn’t have any orange juice and that she was supposed to bring it to her.
The employee ransacked her car! She rifled through the bags. Lifted things up and did a thorough cavity search! AIMLESS repeated, “I don’t have your orange juice!”
Sure enough, RANSACKER points at an item and said, “There it is!”
AIMLESS countered, “That’s hot, it’s coffee!”
RANSACKER: “Give me your credit card and I ‘ll get you some orange juice.”
AIMLESS: “I don’t have time.”
RANSACKER: “I have time, give me your credit card.”
AIMLESS ignores the rambling, got into her car, and drove off!
AIMLESS and I share the same birthday. Whenever one of us is having a bad day, she will say that “the twins are not getting along today.” With all of the customer service challenged events from the last few days, today would definitely qualify. She said, “I was just trying to be nice!” I responded: “The moral of the story is don’t be nice, or better yet, perhaps you are not meant to be nice!”
I have complete sympathy for her customer service challenged chaos! I am so sorry that I missed RANSACKER at her car. I probably would have cried from laughing so hard!