Monthly Archives: July 2013
Wow! Tonight’s post is quick but I have to say that I feel amazing, empowered, and borderline epiphany – ish, if there is such a word and if not, we’ll add it to the Laurenism page.
It’s not just because the Satanic heat spell has lifted and I can actually sleep the whole night and my bed isn’t scorching me from the heat. It’s because I was given a gift six weeks ago. At first I thought it was to taunt me because what is one to do with a dozen tennis balls if you have nobody to play tennis with.
Thankfully, yesterday’s post – a plea for tennis companionship was heard. Tennis players/friends are popping up, dusting off the dirt from the handles that have been hidden in the basement or garage and lining up on the courts to get a chance to taste a bit of my “poison shot”. People are curious – will they survive on the court with me or dominate me.
I don’t really care. I’m out on the court!
I now know that this gift wasn’t meant to torture me, it was meant as a gentle push to find tennis playing people and play the sport we all love. My enthusiasm, alone, will bring back tennis in the community!
He gave me the gift of tennis togetherness and wonderful memories. Ego stroking as I make a shocking shot, endorphins shooting through my body from the great workout, and being outside with kind and talented tennis-playing people as I enjoy summer evenings.
That, my friend, Read the rest of this entry
I started playing tennis when I was four-years-old. I was obsessed. My dad was grooming me to turn pro. That was the thing to do back then.
For years, my parents (both of them!) chauffeured me to my various tennis lessons and tournament venues. I twirled my racket, constantly, even when I wasn’t holding one.
I was a little smitten with a guy named John “What do you mean that ball was out? It was on the line. Are you kidding me?!” McEnroe and was completely enthralled as I watched all the tournaments on TV – analyzing their strokes and admiring their fitness levels. To me, McEnroe was spirited but others might challenge my “spin” on his behavior. I used to have a t-shirt that read “Tennis is my racket, love is my game.”
I was fortunate that I grew up a couple of a blocks from a huge tennis complex. All of the tennis courts were packed! People would crowd around and fight over who gets court times and the people would hover over the court as they waited for their start time to kick in. It was crazy!
One day I was at a tennis lesson after school. I was playing doubles with three other people and took a very lazy forehand with a furious and intense follow-through (to make up for the wimpy wind up) that caused the graphite face of the racket to smack the front of my mouth.
I laughed. In fact, I could say “it cracked me up” but that would be really bad. I heard the crack of my two front teeth and promptly put my hand under my mouth to catch them. The other three players gasped and uttered such thoughts as: Read the rest of this entry
This morning I was challenged to look at all of my posts and hone in on the top five to determine a common pattern that enables me to connect with my readers.
Understand, I don’t consider a post successful based on the number of views it receives or the number of “likes” or comments. I base it purely on whether people acknowledge that I wrote it and it reached them in someway. I’ll never forget one reader who said she felt like she was right there as I told the story. Moments like those keep me writing.
5. SEO part 1. If you look up donkey beer like many people do, you’ll be treated to this playful post about my experience with a dunk tank. Nobody liked the post, perse, but it’s popular because people like donkey beer.
4. Facebook. Relatability. Real Life. Anyone with glasses can relate to the ongoing task of trying to get one’s glasses uncrooked. People also like looking at a 4 year old girl with glasses. It’s a sentimental favorite of mine, for sure, because I KNOW people laugh when they see this post and I’m laughing with them.
Recently I was asked who would have the stimulating task and privilege of writing my biography. The obvious choice is my Emmy-award winning brother. His thoughtful and careful rendition would bring the audience to tears and laughter, simultaneously. He would make the somewhat banal parts transform into remarkably riveting moments in time and an upheaval of admiration would rapidly spread across the Rein Rant N Rave Nation.
This extraordinary undertaking would require time and local talent to complete the project by the requested deadline. The disarming DNA-connected duo of my two lifelong friends, Read the rest of this entry
When I moved into my place years ago, my neighbor slipped a note under my door, kindly asking that I not engage in any activity that involved my oven. Cooking, in her mind, was a crime and any odors that were emitted from using the oven would not be tolerated.
I thought that was ridiculous and pretty amusing given that I hadn’t used the oven. I told her that, so I became an acceptable neighbor in her book. Well, I told her that I hadn’t used the oven, not the ridiculous part.
She continued to spout the evils of cooking to my entire wing. She went off on a neighbor for baking cookies, stating that they were odoriferous.
My cookie-baking neighbor, by the way, gave me a wonderful batch of holiday cookies the first year I moved in and it brought me right back to holiday time with my grandma. So, the opportunity to whiff the baking of cookies me put me in a warm and happy place.
But, I digress.
Then, she tackled the neighbor across the way, suggesting that people refrain from cooking during the holidays. I laughed and assured her that, “You can’t cancel Christmas.” She was ticked!
To her, “responsible cooking” meant not using an oven and eating salad. That’s it.
So, not only was cooking not permitted, I had to walk around like a ballerina, doing an occasional silent pirouette, and was permitted to use the bathroom only at certain times. Okay, not really, but it seemed like that.
One night I was moving some furniture around and forgot where I placed things when it was bedtime. So, I accidentally knocked over a container full of hair clips resulting in a huge noise.
I said to myself, “UH OH! Here comes a serving of terror.”
I’ve had an on and off again love affair with coffee and caffeine. I fee like a cool kid walking around town with my cup, like everyone else, and it does seem to perk me up. The downside is that I don’t care for the taste and it’s an expensive habit. I know I could buy some mediocre coffee and sweeten it up and survive. When I do things, I am all in. I don’t want instant coffee.
I started drinking caffeine again in May – during the “Month of Lauren”. I think I had just come back from a trip and realized I needed a pick-me-up and the addiction kicked in again. Sometimes I do the green tea which is better because the caffeine release is gradual. When I had my first sip of coffee, I felt like I was drunk. I was texting my thoughts really quickly in “Laureinsm” speak such as, “YAYAYAYAYAY”!
Last year I introduced the patriotic toe series, my greeting card, if you will, to pay homage to the birthday celebration of America.
I have a few vivid memories of his holiday. One is with firecrackers, bought in another state, proudly popping in the backyard of one of my honorary auntie’s. I giggled and covered my ears. I thought it was remarkable that a mom would bond with her son this way. She’d offer, “Which ones are we doing next?”
Lots of parades. I remember observing a lifelong friend march with his high school band. This was my introduction to celebrity as a young teenager. He was sweating from the intense combination of the sun, his wool suit, and that perky teenager clapping in the crowd, as music boomed from his drum. That must have been a tough gig.
I was the floatmaster when I worked at a bank. The first year I was able to rally the troops to build a float, it was a labor of love! The next year we realized we could rent one. Our first one was much better, due to the sweat equity, no doubt. But I digress.
Riveted readers who follow my toes may recall that I don’t have an easy time finding comfortable sandals.
Yes…those are red, white, and blue lights dancing on top of my feet... Read the rest of this entry
I’m sitting on the el on my way home from a refreshing trip.
I can’t help but notice that everyone is engrossed in his/her phone!! On the plane, people were crawling out of their skin waiting for the chance to hook up with wi-fi. I was at a gymnastics class for children last week. I saw a mom bonding with her huge cell phone AND laptop. I was at a restaurant and a couple who looked like they were on a date (with each other) and each of them were riveted in… Read the rest of this entry